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The Perks of Responsibility

March 18, 2023
in Personal development, Reflections
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. A repercussion, if you will.

However, standing at this T-junction facing my town’s station interchange, I realized this so-called reaction could sometimes be non-action.

For the past few months, I have been obsessed with traffic lights, with good reason. When I leave for work—with just a few minutes to spare before the bus leaves—I factor in how much time I will spend waiting for the little man at the traffic light to turn green. I have to pass underneath a train bridge to get to the bus station at the interchange. And before that bridge is a four-way junction, governed by a trio of traffic lights and a quartet of crosswalk lights. These lights are so central to my work day that I know the order in which they turn green.

On this day, I was calm. I had no buses to catch nor urgent rendezvouses to meet. I observed something as I clicked the button and waited for the crosslight signs to turn green. Although the crosswalk sign was still red, one by quick-feeted one, the people standing next to me were zipping to the other side of the road. A car rounding a bend almost hit the last of the lot. The driver was proper pissed and swore at the errant pedestrian, who cackled at the insults. This is a consistent thing. People crossing when the crosswalk sign is red, both when there is an approaching car and when there is none.

And it made me wonder: what if motorists started doing the same thing? What if they started beating red lights just because there was no oncoming car or pedestrian crossing?

One word: Catastrophe.

Accidents—or, at the very least, near-accidents—would be the order of the day. The motorists would get fines even if they beat the light on a lonely street.

Having a car is like being the firstborn child. It comes with perks and a double helping of responsibility. Pedestrians, like younger siblings, could be forgiven for misdeeds because they did not know better. However, to drive a car, you have to take multiple lessons and tests. Lessons that emphasize the importance of patience, safety, and carefulness. Tests that check how well you have internalized these lessons.

This traffic analogy extends into our daily life and interactions. A reality of people wanting perks, but none of the responsibility that comes with them. Like crazy motorists beating red lights on lonely streets, they crave excellence but only put minimal effort into honing their skills. They want the comforts, benefits, and advantages that the vehicle of a relationship brings, but desire to be free and unburdened by responsibility like the singles perambulating the streets.

In a tweet three years ago, Latino rapper Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar (Cardi B) admitted feeling trapped and having to project a facsimile of herself because people saw her as a role model. She declared she was done with this and was going back to her default settings. While I understand and sympathize with the sentiments expressed in the tweets, Cardi has to understand that life works differently. Every perk we enjoy comes with responsibilities. The fame she enjoys is because multiple groups of people all over the world love her music, image, and persona. And even if she doesn’t want to be a role model to them, she already has that responsibility.

I am a firm proponent of always separating people from their art.

Why?

Because people are flawed, and art is not. Because the most flawed people make the most beautiful art.

So I am not surprised when someone airs a celebrity’s skeleton cupboard. I understand they are human beings, and human beings make mistakes. However, the young and impressionable do not have this filter. Their idols serve everything—from goals to cringe—and they gobble it up.

In our world of multitasking, ergonomic chairs, and 100-tab browsers, society spoon-feeds us the idea that we can have it all simultaneously. And sometimes we can. But other times, we can’t. You can’t be a parent and be as frivolous and carefree as a childless person. It doesn’t work that way. You cannot put in average work and expect excellent results. You cannot be a person of influence and enjoy the carefree anonymity that inconnus enjoy.  So pick your poison—pedestrian or motorist?—enjoy the perks and endure the pains.

When I am not people-watching and gawking at traffic lights, I write about love and movies. Want to read something that straddles both themes? Check out The Rules of Engagement: Review of Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

Tags: Cardi BPerks and downsidesresponsibilitytraffic lights
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